Help! I’ve fallen down, and I can't figure out how to get myself back up!

It happens to even the most enthusiastic, organized, devoted people in this world. In spite of your very best efforts, you have lost your way, and you are completely off your game. It can happen in a variety of ways. You get sick, you take a vacation, there is a lull in your personal life or you have so many different things going at once that you can't seem to take care of anything.

What the worse part is, you aren’t really motivated to get started again. You go into your office, you stare at the pile of work, the article you meant to write, the phone calls you know you need to make and it all looks so overwhelming. Most of us just half- heartedly begin with something and then quit early and feel lousy about ourselves. Here are some ways to get yourself back in the groove, excited, and ready to tackle your life again.

Admitting you are unmotivated and don't know where to begin is OK
Sometimes admitting that we feel negative about our life can move the huge blocks stopping us. Everyone loses themselves sometimes, why not you? You are human and constant effort with no break or slow down is just unrealistic. Make a mental note that this is going to happen from time to time in your life and that you will have strategies for dealing with it the next time it happens. And it WILL happen. I guarantee this is not the one and only time you will feel overwhelmed.

Talk to someone about how you are feeling
the mere act of getting a trusted friend or confidant to listen to you in your time of distress, can sometimes break that mental block. People, who care about us, have this unique way of seeing the bigger picture. They can help us when we can't seem to see past all we have going on. Don't be afraid to confide in someone you trust, and get their assessment of the situation. Often times, your worries are so much less, than you realize.

Review the "why"
Take time to remember why you have the goals you do. Go back to the beginning when you were planning how this would be a way for you to express your creativity, be your own boss, and make a difference in the world. Whatever it was, get back there and relive those memories of excitement, hope and anticipation. Remember that the world needs you and what you have to contribute. You are valuable and whatever service you provide, is needed.

Do the "one" thing you know will have the most powerful effect on your being
Close the door, sit down at your desk or computer, turn off the phone and look at your planner and list of things to do. You know that there is ONE thing that if you do it, will make a huge difference to getting you back on track. Pick the smallest, easiest thing that will make the most impact. Set a timer if you need to, but begin to work on that one thing. Make the decision about what is important and then move on it. This is the most motivating action you can do.

Just do SOMETHING! ANYTHING!
Pick up a piece of paper, answer one email, write one note or make one phone call. Sometimes, just getting ourselves into motion can help us overcome the place of being stuck. Then do something else, then something else, and acknowledge yourself for getting into action and getting even the littlest task completed. Show yourself some respect. After all you are the BEST cheerleader you got right now.

You don’t need to be overly concerned about these dips in motivation. I, myself have been going through one lately and am working my way through it gradually. You know how? With this first blog post about getting your fire back. Just writing these words have helped me a bit. I hope you find them motivating too. God bless <3

Written By: Debra A DeVita

May 2nd 2012

Image Via [godbeautyperfectionlove.com]

Confronting our fears is probably the most difficult thing we will ever do in our lives and yet when we do, they seem to just melt away! Instead of being powerful, our fears become powerless! Fear is only as strong as we make it. If we don't give in to the fear, fear can't grab a hold of us. 

The best strategy we have for dealing with our fears is FAITH! There is no more powerful way to confront fears than with our FAITH! Our tenacity, determination, and resolve, all depend on us believing in our own ability to achieve that which we dream of. If we can believe in ourselves, fear has no power.

It is the work of our inner selves that turns things from the ordinary to the extra-ordinary, and yet there is no way the inner self can do their work without faith and a willingness to confront the fears that plague us! If you want an extra-ordinary life, to be one who is able to take the things that are not the way you want them, and to make them the way you dream them to be, you will have to face your fears and have faith! It is as simple and as complicated as that. Stand fear in the face and say "I won't let you have me today"

There are many different types of fears. Fear of not being loved, fear of not being enough, fear of what other people might say, and fear of things not going according to plan. What is the worst case scenario? OK you might make a mistake, but if you make a mistake, you will learn something, and then you will grow! If you never face your fears, you won't ever become what you are meant to be. You will never have that dream. You will never have that job. You will never have that relationship. Fear is what is holding you back.

SO... starting today, fear less and love more! Love your life, enjoy each moment, whether it appears good or bad to you right now, it will work out for if you have faith! Remember; when fear knocked at the door, faith answered and there was no-one there!

Image Credit [kymspins.blogspot.com]

Written by: Debbie A. DeVIta

April 18th 2012

No-one in this world can possibly know, exactly what it’s like to be you, except for you, yourself. Yet the crazy thing is, that we are all one! The purpose of the life of the individual is to experience life in a different way than anyone has ever experienced life before. The purpose of life for the human race is to be creatively together in our unique individuality!

We are expected to be individuals, create our own life, do things on our own, but yet all people are individuals doing the same exact thing, living the same exact way, trying to find their place in this paradox of a world. The world of uniqueness. 

Every day each one of us has pain and sadness to confront, and yet happiness and joy to experience too! The ones who can tip the scales in their direction of joy and happiness is: the one who can smile through their troubles, express beauty in their sadness and show kindness to others no matter what they themselves might be experiencing.

So next time you meet a kind-hearted, pretty eyed and smiling person, don’t assume that all is okay in their world, but instead applaud the triumph of the human spirit over adversity,sadness and pain!

I challenge you to look into the mirror before today is out and see such a person in your own reflection!

I challenge you to change your attitude today and start living your own unique, amazing, and possible bright future!

By: Debbie A. DeVita

April 4th 2012

Image Credit [healmyptsd.com]

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope.” (Psalm 130:5)

I have heard it so many times, I can't even count. From relatives, from friends, from even best friends, I've heard it. My pain is only in my mind. It can't be that bad. Oh my gosh, you're sick AGAIN!

Illness has taught me patience. I’ve learned not to fret when my day involves a lot of waiting–at the doctor’s office, at the pharmacy, or the next specialist I'm meeting with. I've learned that doctor's can't solve everything and that if they don't know the answer, they will give you a prescription and send you on your way.I've learned that is hard to explain to others that you've been to several doctors and you are still in pain because they don't seem to be able to help you.

Waiting patiently has spilled over into other areas of my life. I have learned not to get upset when plans change, I've learned to not be anxious when I just can't bring myself to get out of bed one day. Patience is a virtue that God tries to teach us through the bible, but many are always running, seeking, waiting for the next thing. I have learned to have patience on the Lord and know that in the right time, my life will turn out just the way, He meant it to all along.

One of the hardest times, for me to wait is when I’m in the midst of a flare-up and all I’m capable of doing is lying in bed. Often, I listen to music or watch television or read to keep myself distracted, but eventually the worry and frustration work their way to the surface. Some days I feel sad and closed in. Other days I feel guilty that I am not doing things around the house. I admit the depression and isolation get to me. My friends call and I can't answer because I'm either in alot of pain at the time or just don't feel like talking. I know no one understands this, unless you deal with this chronic pain yourself. I have tried many times to make people realize, I don't hide on purpose and I really am in pain, but many just brush it off, and go about their day. I have learned to be okay with this, because I know, unless you've been in my shoes you can't understand where I am coming from.

I have found that the only true comfort I get is from the Lord and His Word. When I feel overwhelmed, I know that I can turn to God, and He will calm my anxious mind. Meditating on the promises in His Word allows me to find peace and hope. Reminding myself of His love for me helps me to calm down and look for ways to pour my heart out to Him and to praise Him. I don't believe that He wants me to feel pain or that I have done something bad to deserve this. I believe He feels I am strong enough to handle this and get through it on my own. That gives me faith that He knows my strengths.

For the last few months, I have spent more time in bed, flat on my back, breathing through the pain and spasms. Even in these circumstances, I sense the presence of God, and I feel encouraged to hold on and trust that His goodness will prevail.

For those of you who have a friend, spouse or relative that is constantly ill, please try to show some sympathy to their pain. They are only trying to get through their day.

"Don't judge another individual and what they feel, till you have stood in their shoes"

Written By: Debbie A. DeVita

March 23th 2012

When it comes to writing, do you ever struggle with *feeling* inadequate? You figure you aren't and you're told you aren't, but it's that tiny little thought in the back of your mind when you open the Word document. That one that makes you close down Word before you even write a sentence. Does it ever go away? Do you ever feel good enough in a world with so many people who can do the same thing as you?

Many people who do well with overcoming obstacles in their personal lives have trouble when presented with obstacles at work. Somehow, it seems as though the rules are different in the office and that you are supposed to know all of the answers. Unfortunately, there is often no one around to teach you, what you don’t know. Sometimes you are thrown into the masses with no head start and you must learn to "sink or swim" If you are regularly presented with large and small obstacles at work, here are some steps that will help you to overcome them.

1. Identify The Problem Clearly. What exactly is this obstacle? What is it keeping you from accomplishing? Maybe it is a destructive coworker. Maybe it is a poor relationship with your boss. Maybe it is a policy that just rubs you the wrong way. Whatever the obstacle is, identify it clearly and be specific. This enables you to know exactly what the challenge is that you are dealing with. It also helps you to separate the obstacle from the rest of your work life so that it doesn’t feel as though the challenge is all-consuming.

2. Start Thinking. Spend some time brainstorming possible solutions to your problem. Don’t be afraid to be creative here. When you are brainstorming, anything goes. If your problem is a coworker, maybe your ideas are to talk to your boss about her, avoid her, ask for your office space to be moved, ignore her, or actively try to get her fired. While these are all feasible options, some of them are obviously better choices than others. However, during the brainstorming phase you want to try not to limit yourself only to the “good” options. Sometimes an option that initially looks like a weaker one turns out to be the best course of action.

3. Choose an Action Plan. As I said before, many of the options on your list will not be feasible or wise. However, you will almost certainly have several workable solutions to your problem. Take those solutions and come up with a concrete plan for improving the situation. Sometimes the simple act of making a plan helps the situation to seem less stressful and overwhelming because it helps you to feel more in control of what happens. However, you will also want to turn your plan into action so that you are actually taking steps to improve your work situation.

4. Never Be Afraid To Ask For Help. In the office, many women feel as though they are supposed to go at it alone. However, don’t forget that your coworkers and supervisors are there to help you. Don’t be afraid to ask. It may be requesting an office change so that you are further away from a challenging coworker or exploring the reasons behind a seemingly senseless policy. No matter what your plan of action is, do not be afraid to involve someone else in helping you to overcome workplace obstacles.

Remember if you feel there is a problem, there probably is. Go with your gut and rationally and calmly use the steps above. You can get through anything if you learn to lean on your own understanding and ask for help when the road seems too much for one person alone. Good luck!

Image Credit [workplaceprivacyreport.com]

Written By: Debbie A. DeVita

March 14th 2012

Are true friends hard to find? What makes friends special?

We all have friends and many of us appreciate those friendships. We all need to have true friends and many of us do have close and best friends, but let me ask you this, what makes a friend a true friend? What separates a true friend from an acquaintance? What makes you believe that your friend is true? What makes you want to trust another person, beyond a shadow of a doubt?

Characteristics of a true friend

Here is a quick guide to what I believe are the characteristics of a true friend:

1. Wants the best for you

 A true friend wishes you the best all the time. If he finds you that you are succeeding in life and achieving your goals, he will support you.

2. Supports you

If you are experiencing difficult circumstances, you will find the true friend tries his best to reduce your pain and brings you out of your current emotional state.

3. Honesty

 A true friend is the one who is honest with you. If you ask him for your help, he will not say what pleases you, he will say what he thinks it is in your best interest. The true friend gives you advice that will support you, helps you, and that makes you move forward in a positive way.

4. Doesn’t judge you

 A true friend supports you all the time. He accepts you the way you are and doesn’t try to change you. He accepts your personality the way it is with your positive and negative qualities.

5. Listens to you

There are friends who stay with you when everything is going well, but when you experience a hardship, they disappear and don’t lend you a hand in your adversity. A true friend on the contrary is the one you find in those hard times lending you a hand.

6. Makes you part of his life

 A true friend introduces you to his friends and family and makes you part of his family. You are a blessing in his life.

7. Keeps your secret

 A true friend keeps your secrets and weaknesses. He doesn’t reveal your secrets or blackmail you. Respecting your privacy is one of your friend’s goals. He doesn’t gossip about you in front of others.

Always remember THIS  "A true friend has your back, even when it might break their back to catch you" #SImplyDebbie

Written by: Debbie A. DeVIta

March 10th 2012

Image credit [psychologyonline-2.blogspot.com]

A time comes in your life when you finally get it…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

THIS IS YOUR AWAKENING.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon.

You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions.

You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of new found confidence is born.

Your stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected.

You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and everything isn’t always about you.

So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for.

You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with.

You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for you next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.

You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not you job to save the world. You learn the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely.

You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs.

You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drinking more water, and take more time to exercise.

You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.

You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.

You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you lean not to always take it personally.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than you heart’s desire.

You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in you heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can......

I have always been a huge fan of Amit's blog  http://www.modernlifeblogs.com/

His blog covers such topics as friendship, love, technology and social media.

When I first started talking to Amit I wasn't even writing yet. Looking at his blog and his tweets inspired me to share my thoughts as well with others and I hope he will inspire you as well.

1. Tell us a little about yourself:

 I am a simply boy enjoying every moment of my life. LIfe is a gift enjoy it while it's here. I love to spread happiness and by sharing your joy, you will get full value of joy with others.I am currently completing my graduation and working hard to make my dreams come true. I like to try new gadgets and gizmos, reading books and enjoying time with my family are all my passions in life. My new passion is photography. You can check it out at http://modernlifepix.com 

2. What is your one passion in life that drives you every single day?

My one true passion is getting the new information about whats happening in the world and then sharing it with others. I love to gather information from varioius tech sites and social media and I love to write information about the latest big thing to share with my readers.

I love my Mom so much and I love to give her things to make her day joyful as she is suffering from high blood pressure problem for several years now.

This is my main objective to share with my readers and to make my family happy.

3. How did you start up Modern Life Blogs?

I started my blog a year ago and thanks to all who have made this journey worthwhile for me. There has been some awesome sharing, writings and support and I truly appreciate it. This all started out of fun and I didn't know it would become a big part of my life. I see many friends share their reviews on various topics and tweets on Twitter so followers may get information.

4. What makes you unique to the writing world? 

Everyone is unique and gifted with some inborn qualities. I am still not able to truly find my uniqueness as I am still working on improving myself in this writing world. Read, learn and improve always.

5. How do you stay up to date on all the technology information you provide for your readers?

I stay up to date by social media sites and some great technology sites as well. There are lots of various ways to get informed about stuff. Reading books and watching tech programs is also a great way to stay up to date as well. Whatever I find best is what I love to share with my readers. Knowledge is true wealth. So by sharing with others you enrich your knowledge as well.  

6. What is your favorite social media site?

That's a good question dear. As we know there are lots of new social media sites like Twitter, Facebook, Google+ and they just keep popping up everywhere. They are all awesome and helpful in many ways. However, I like Twitter very much becuase of its short tweet capacity. It helps to spread the message to the world in just a few words.

7. Do you believe that true friendship can be formed through social media sites?

Yes, true friendship can be formed through social media. I have an angelic family of friends from social media. So awesome and blessed. 

8. What do you think makes people want to follow you or read your blog?

People follow me because they love the tweets and find my blog very informative.

9. If you could name only one thing, what would be the one thing you haven't done yet that you want to do?

I would love to spread the happiness and love in this world. I love to help needy people and do charity work when I am capable of doing that so that make others also enjoy their life. Spreading love and happiness is the most important thing we can do in this world.

10. What is in store for you in the future with your site? Goals?

In the future, you may see many new changes on the site. I have been working hard and developing new changes to come soon. So wait and watch for more details.

Thanks Amit for taking the time to answer these questions. I do appreciate it and am glad we have connected on Twitter and that my blog readers can share in your vast knowledge and technology information as well.

Follow Amit on Twitter @AmitV_Tweets

Check out his blog @ http://www.modernlifeblogs.com/

Written by: Debbie A. DeVita

2/16/2012